A living memorial? Or a home?

Several months after mom’s death, I sorted through clothes and some personal items, but I never quite go around to going through the bulk of what was left behind. I moved into the bedroom and that was about it.

It was beginning to feel like a living memorial to mom. Not only is mom not coming back, now that she’s fully in her right mind again, she wouldn’t want to.

There are many things I want to do, but no money for anything major. No pulling up the carpet and laying a wood floor. No kitchen reno. So I’ve come up with ideas of things I can do on my tight budget.

I can paint the linoleum floor in the kitchen, the kitchen cabinets, and eventually get a new counter top and sink. The carpet — there’s nothing I can do but get it cleaned — eventually. Area rugs on top of that.

This past month I started digging in for reals.

There is a closet under the stairway for the upstairs unit. I dragged everything out, hoping to get rid of enough stuff so I can close the door — a metal bifold, yuck! — so my cats don’t run in there when I try to take them to the vet. Well, that worked moderately well, except the bifold still doesn’t close.

The next big issue is my yarn stash. A lady doesn’t normally discuss her yarn stash but A) this isn’t “normally” and B) I never professed to be a lady. Once, when I was ranting and raging about something, using language, my ex turned to his family and said, “That’s my delicate flower.”

I will tell you what I told them. Yes, I’m a fucking delicate flower! But I digress.

The stash. I’m moving my looms and spinning wheel to the dining room area. I figure that’s where my stash should go as well as all my other knitting and weaving accouterments.

I had bins with seasonal items, tchotchkes, memorabilia, etc. in the front by the sliding doors and I wanted them under the stairs where much of the yarn was. The yarn was in bins are so large, I don’t really know what I have. Plus the bins are H-E-A-V-Y!!! Solution — use smaller bins — and for now they will go where the seasonal items were. I can’t put them where I want them to ultimately end up yet. This is a puzzle with many moving parts, so it’s a multi-step process.

That was just the beginning of opening the Pandora’s box that has now become my home.

Here’s the stack:

Not bad, but here’s a different angle:

But wait! There’s more!

The last is the stuff I haven’t gotten to yet. Add to all this, I have weaving yarns and spinning fibers that are in a small closet at the back of the apartment. I can’t get into that yet because of things I have to sort through first.

While watching TV, I went through my mom’s knitting straight needles and threw out the solos, gathered each size together, and will donate those. I still have to go through a box of double points, determine sizes and group those together. Since the double points she used generally come in sets of five, that’s going to be a very long process.

Dear lord, I wonder if this will be finished in my lifetime.