Dear Dan,

Yesterday was a great day for the history books. The Supreme Court slapped down Defense of Marriage Act. Four judges voted to upholdand the rest voted against. Rah!

I try very hard not to play the “what if” game — “what if I had stayed in New York?” “What if I had called you more often or pushed harder?” — but sometimes that’s easier said than done. Sort of like looking through your eyes and putting myself in your place on the top of the parking garage, playing “what if” is a very bad idea.

The DOMA ruling is one of those times when it’s almost impossible not to play. “What if you had a permanent partner?” “What if we grew up a little later?” Would things have turned out differently?

I love and miss you, bro.

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